I think was about 10 when I started feeling that I was a
“good writer”, I air quote this – not really-because I’m not sure where I got that idea from. I’ve almost always kept journals, throughout my twenty-eight years of life. Mostly to have an outlet where I can be completely honest with myself. Hold myself accountable for things that have happened in my life. Often times, I find myself writing about my relationships with the opposite sex. Super boring and cliche, my journals between the years 2010-2016 were essentially all the same.

 I’ve realized that I focused on everything but myself, who it turns out, I didn’t love very much. Sure, in the basic, vapid way, I did. Or I thought I did . I accepted less than I deserved for years. Let people take advantage of my energy, and worst of all my time. I’ve had so few relationships or situationships,as I refer to them, that don’t embarass me now. And I am not embarrassed by much. 

In the end, my aha moment ,came after two failed attempts at relationships crashed and burned. I became physically ill. My stomach, my literal gut, was reaching out to me, to cut the shit. If I’m completely honest, it was the worst I’ve ever felt in my life. I was so heavy with this anxiety, that made me feel that I didn’t deserve to be happy. I didn’t earn it or something. That no one would ever love me, the way I love.

My name is Jo and I am a hopeless romantic. BIG TIME. I can glamorize and over think like it’s my job.This character trait, is partly to blame for my struggles. However that’s not all. There’s so many layers involved in what makes me, me. And now as I’m getting older and hopefully wiser, I want to delve into all that good stuff. I’m still trying to work out who I am, who I want to be. And that starts with another level of honesty and vulnerability that I’ve yet to tap into. So without further ado, I introduce you to my latest venture into authenticity, this blog. I’ve been thinking and pussyfooting around the idea of a blog, real talk, since I started watching Sex and the City, 10 years ago. I recently got the light push, I needed to start, so here I am.